Pressure, that’s all I ever felt my entire life as a first-generation student…pressure. No one ever talks to you about how suffocating it all becomes. The importance of carrying your family’s lineage to higher status of life. I mean this was the reason why your great-grandparents & family moved to America in the first place. To have a better life for their children, to have a better future for their generations. So yes to say I feel pressure is an understatement.
Being a first-generation student means you have to learn everything on your own. Growing up, college was an abstract idea to me. Well, truthfully I didn’t even know what it was until I went to KIPP. A public charter school whose sole mission is to get underprivileged students into college. There I learned the importance of education and higher education. I had no idea about how useful it can be to your future. This gave me the motivation to strive to care more about school. Most of my family members never attended college or finished high school. Trying to survive was the most important thing to the older generations. Holding down a job, wondering what the next meal will be, or who would take care of the bills. My grandmother said that school was a privilege. Hearing all these stories and experiences from my family members pushed me to want more for myself. It sounds messed up but I didn’t like the life that they lived. They told me they didn’t want that life for me either. Working a 9 to 5 blue-collar job and coming home to screaming children. That is not for me.
When I started to attend classes at Blinn Junior College I was terrified. Just an hour away from home, the first time I was living on my own. I was horrified at failing to balance it all. Or having to quit because it is just too much. I worried about how upset my parents would be if I left. The worst part about this whole experience was that my parents didn’t know how to help me. This was a common issue for me. Having to figure everything out on my own. Trying to figure out FAFSA, applying to classes, talking to counselors, clubs, meetings, finding the perfect major it’s all sometimes too much. However, within this learning process, I realized how privileged I am. How I can even worry about things like picking the right major. It’s a humbling experience to realize this. To think I can do whatever I want and not just because I need to survive.
Being a first-generation student means hope. I’m breaking generational gaps and inspiring others. College isn’t for everyone I know. For me it’s more personal, it’s my goals, my dreams for my family. I get asked why I care so much about what my family thinks of my education. They have given me opportunities and options. Something they can never afford to imagine. Might as well try right? I’m finally graduating from Houston Community College and will be attending the University of Houston in the fall. Pressure will always be present, it’s what you do with it that matters.
